They walked in the garden together.  Supper was over and the night they would never forget was closing in. 

They were all tired and needed some sleep, but one of them still had a burden that could not be put to rest.  The teacher looked from one to another and then asked his friends to stay where they were and wait while he walked on ahead.  

He would need to be alone now.  Little did the others know just how alone their teacher would be as the night went on.  But just now he must be alone in prayer with his Father.  He asked his friends to pray while they were waiting for his return - not just wait - but wait and pray.

Do you think they wondered why?

But as he walked the path ahead, 
they settled down, relaxed a bit,
and slept, while his heart bled.  

"My father" Jesus cried "please take this cup away, 
because I know the weight, the debt, 
the price, this night I'll pay."

"But my Father, God, you know, though 
I hurt so much inside,
it is truly in your will I want to now abide." 

After a while he rose and went back to the disciples.  
They were asleep.

"Couldn't you watch and pray one hour?
 Didn't your flesh have a little power?"
"Please watch and pray" again he said, 
as he walked a little way ahead.

 In grief, he fell before the King.
He wept – his heart was shattering.
He prayed and sweat with drops like blood.
He prayed to the ever-living God. 

But he said, "Not my will be done, but thine."
 And his friends slept on in his darkest time.   

They missed so much.  They had no idea what our Savior suffered for them. They did not see his struggles.  They didn’t hear his plea.  How could they know?  And if we ignore this part of the story we will miss much as well.  We won’t see what Jesus, The Son, suffered for us during those hours in the garden.  There was more suffering ahead, but in these scriptures we see Jesus’ humanity, and in that humanity we see his love and pain so vividly.

If we read Matthew 26:36 - 46 or Mark 15:32 we will respond with gratitude as well as sadness.

Thank you, Jesus.  Oh, Thank you!

 

Immediately the rooster crowed the second time.  Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows twice you will disown me three times.” And he broke down and wept.  Mark 14:72 NIV 

Have you ever wept with sorrow for something you said?  Have you ever broken down and cried your heart out - not for something happening to you, but for an instance when you failed a friend?  Maybe they truly needed you to listen to their pain, but you chose to instruct instead, and were the results  devastatingly hurtful to your friend?   You caused their pain and you felt so very, very sorry.

Is there a time you can remember when you failed your Savior.  Did you choose other gods? Did you deny His existence, or did you walk away from His family?  

And then, when you remembered what He's done for you, did you fall on your face in sorrow?

Peter did.  

If you read last week's post, you'll hear Peter promise to never desert Jesus and you'll remember that he broke that promise.  But if we follow the account, we see in Mark's gospel that 

"Peter remembered.....and he broke down and wept."

And I cry

For times I failed my God, my Savior

For times my words have caused Him pain

For times, unthinking, I ignored Him

Or turned my face away in shame.

I cry

For times I said He couldn't love me 

For times I didn't trust His care

For times I counted prayers unanswered

And didn't think my God was there.

I cry

But are my tears like floods of sorrow, 

spilling, 

needing to begin again. 

Does my human heart break open

in surrender 

as I say, "Amen."

Peter remembered.  He cried.  He repented.  But remember always that Jesus forgave.  He forgave Peter and will forgive His children when they ask.

 Jesus was talking to His friends after the Passover dinner as they were walking to the Mount of Olives.  

Jesus told them, 

“This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written: ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’”

Then Peter said, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”

Jesus told him, “This very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” Matthew 26:31

Peter said never, but yet Peter did.

Peter boasts of strength and yet Peter fled.

We promise, we boast. and then swear instead.

We still fail to stand.

 Our strength lost in dread.

Before we look askance at Peter, let’s look in the mirror.  We may see a picture of the many times we’ve neglected to stand up for our Savior.   Peter really thought he would be strong enough to stand by Jesus’ side facing the might of the leaders and the government, but he wasn’t.  

I wonder if I am strong enough.  I suppose it’s a question we all must ask, and when we do, we also must understand that Jesus understands us. 

Did He disown Peter?  Did He hurl down wrath on Peter and the other disciples who ran away?  We didn’t hear them say those words "I don't know the man." but they did desert Him. 

 

Did Jesus give up on all of them?  If we continue to read about what happened later, after His resurrection, we see him seeking them out.  It helps us to see how Jesus would react when we let Him down.  He didn't give up on them.  He doesn't give up on us.  He doesn't let us down.  He continues to search for us and show up in our lives as He did for His followers so many years ago.

And what would Peter have seen in Jesus’ face - if he had been able to see the face of his Savior while he sat around that fire; sat there pretending to be someone other than one of Jesus' friends; sat there, swearing that he didn't know Jesus?  

Maybe Peter would have seen a look of sadness, even disappointment, or pain as Jesus heard Peter deny knowing Him.  But I believe those looks at Peter would have always contained love.  And I believe He still looks upon His children, His friends, His followers with love as well, even when we fail Him. 

Jesus said never, and He never will

 forsake His people. 

He loves them all still.

He promised strength.  He offers might

when His people face evil - 

face evil’s dread night.

Yes,

Jesus will stay with us through evil's dark night.

There's no need to fear.  His love is the light.

Friends please believe Jesus loves and forgives His failing children.

The way to Calvary

 

As we wait for the celebration of Resurrection Sunday we must take time to see the pain that Jesus endured  to lead us there.  We call this time of the year "Lent." It's the season that helps us to focus on the reason we need a savior, and to take time to know Jesus, the Savior that we need.  He might have said the following words.

The night that Satan thought he had me,

the night he planned his victory, 

that night his servant Judas kissed me, began my walk to Calvary. 

The rough arms came, reached out, and seized me.

My dear friend drew his sword to fight.

Put back your sword, I said to Peter, it has to be this way tonight.

 

Oh don't you think I could withstand them without your help if I should try.

Oh don't you know ten thousand angels would be at hand with just a cry.

 

And then I asked of those who seized me,

why did you come with clubs and swords

while every day I sat among you

teaching in the temple courts?

 

On those days did you arrest me? 

No, now you come in evening’s hour. 

For Satan's way is always darkness

and you -  by hating, give him power.

 

Oh don't you think I could withstand you at any time if I should try.

Oh don't you know ten thousand angels would be at hand with just a cry.

 

But lead me on the way to Calvary.

We'll take the road together now.

I'll walk along - no need to drag me

for I won't use my heavenly power.

 

Oh I could call ten thousand angels if I wanted to be free.

But my love will keep me silent, until I die upon that tree.

 

My love for you is what will hold me on the cross to set you free.

The Holy God has reached down to His sin-laden creation and paid the necessary price for each and every sin, in each and every age.  This price was due because mankind left the way of perfection that God set in our world at the beginning, and Jesus paid that price.

Thank you Father, Thank you Jesus.
 
 

Change, Struggle or Loss

How do we handle change, struggle or loss?  I don't believe we can do it well - on our own. 

Right now, I'm struggling a bit with change. it’s difficult to let go of the past comfort of feeling at home and valued in my own little everyday world.

 
In Beth Moore’s Bible study, “Chasing Vines.”  She mentions the phrase “Make it matter.”

So, I ask God, who should it matter to?

To Him - Are my struggles helping me to see you, God?  Am I glorifying you in the way I handle them?  Am I drawing closer to you or further away as I squirm in my struggles?  Am I depending on you as you say I should?  I believe these things really do matter to you, my Father. Please Help me see them in my every days.

To other people - Are other people hurt by my struggles?  Am I encouraging them or bringing them down?  Am I reaching out to help or only to be helped?  It’s so hard to see this in myself, but Father, you see it in me.  Help me to follow your lead.
 
Another thing that I noticed in the study is that I must grow from change!  If I’m to please you, my Father I must use this time to grow muscles - spiritual muscles.  I need them in order be patient and to persevere.  I’ll need those muscles also to grow in knowledge.  Just living through change can help me see your  hand in my life, but I know I must search your word to find strength to do that growing.  Father, please open my eyes.

Friends, years ago, I wrote this little poem for my daughter, but I find I need it sometimes myself.  Maybe you do too.

I'm in this place.  My God has put me here.

I'm in His grace, no matter when or where.

He'll walk with me through sorrow and through care.

 

I'm in this place.

I'm in this time.

I'm not alone.

 

I'll be content.  I'll meet each day with song.

He's always there to wipe a tear or right a wrong.

And when I'm weak, he's by my side to make me strong.

 

I'm in this place.

I'm in this time.

I'm not alone.

 

God's in this home. His arms around me here.

God's in this night.  He makes the dawn appear.

God's in my life, in all that I hold dear.

 

He's in your place.

He's in your time.

You’re not alone.